Reflections on 29 years.

It's exactly midnight as I'm typing this. I would love to say that's because I wanted to write a reflection the second I turned 29, but really it just took 33 minutes for my computer to boot up. This morning I was thinking about how I think I should get a bonus year on my 30 before 30 list because we all know that 2020 does not count and has managed to wipe out about 4 things I planned to accomplish this year, but then I logged onto my timehop and a photo came up from my 26 birthday.

 I turned 26 on a rooftop bar in a deserted college town in Ohio on tour with SHARP Dance Company and those absolute angels decided that they're going to ring in my 26th year by telling me 26 things they love about me. This might seem silly, but at that moment in my life I really needed a boost and as we left that bar the whole group of us took a picture in the middle of an empty street and I felt really loved. Seeing that picture this morning made me think about all the beautiful people I have in my life. I received birthday cards in the mail this week from two friends and I was honestly overwhelmed. In a chaotic year, in a chaotic life, these people thought about me before Facebook told them it was my birthday, picked out a card, and mailed it to me and I was so incredibly touched. This slowing down, this appreciating every hug, and text, and gesture of love is exactly what I want to hold on to as I move forward. 

During quarantine Thomas Rhett put out a song with the line "in a race you can't win slow it down, the finish line is 6 feet underground" and that line hits me in the chest every time I hear it. Let's blame Covid, but I've been weirdly preoccupied with death lately. It's something we all know about but hopefully don't think about too much because it asks big questions and hurts your brain. It often leaves me thinking about what I want to accomplish and while yes, I have professional and personal goals, what I really want to accomplish is to know that every person I interact with leaves the interaction feeling better. I want to make other people feel valued and respected and loved. That's my new goal. 

Now I set out to talk about my 30 before 30 list so I'm going to include an update. What I realized when I looked over my list the other day (it's hanging on my fridge so I see it everyday) was that some of these goals no longer serve me so rather than accomplishing them for the sake of crossing them off a list, I'm letting myself revise. I'm not the same person I was at 26 when I wrote this list. So many list have changed and I think my list should change too, so I'm open to suggestions. Maybe you have something you really want to accomplish. Let's do it together. Give me a call (and by call, I clearly mean text). I'm always up to learn something new. 

1. Item that no longer serves me - suggestions welcome

2 & 3. - Learn ASL and German - Y'all i'm trying, but turns out my brain is not interested in learning new languages. If this is a skill set of yours PLEASE come save me. 

4.Savings. ACCOMPLISHED - I hit my savings goal this year and sometimes I log onto my bank account just to look at the number. When I made this list I thought this was going to be one of the hard ones. I'm incredibly grateful to have made it. 

5. Pay off student loans - Let's all take a moment to laugh at 26 year old me who thought I might be able to do this, BUT I did enroll in the student loan forgiveness program for public service work and am well on my way. Thanks Covid for removing student loan payments for a couple months. 

6. Yoga Teacher Certification - I am enrolled and should be done by December. I can't wait to teach everyone yoga

7. Learn 2 aerial apparatus - ACCOMPLISHED -  I am in level 3 of Hoop and Trapeze. I gain new bruises every week. It's great fun. 

8. Standing back tuck, Round off back tuck, front tuck - ACCOMPLISHED - I was going to an adult gymnastics class every week for a couple years. I was losing interest in it as Covid was approaching because I'm not willing to hurt myself for new skills. I have decided that I'm probably not going back post covid. This was fun, but I think I'm going to stick to teaching from now on. 

9. Finish writing a book - ACCOMPLISHED - I wrote a book!! I've been writing my whole life, but never finished anything. I successfully finished a first draft of a book and my dear friend Rachel has been helping me edit it. I don't know that it will go anywhere, but I'm proud of myself for finishing it. If anyone would like to read "Stay Hydrated It's Rough Out There: Thoughts of Modern Dating" Let me know. I'd love your feedback

10. Actively volunteering for a charity - ACCOMPLISHED - This was put on my list because I worked at a homeless outreach group weekly in Philly and I loved it. When I moved to Pittsburgh I wanted to volunteer. I spent a winter volunteering for Snow Angels, which pairs you up with an elderly neighbor to shovel their sidewalk for them when it snows. It's very worthwhile and very easy to do. If you live in Pittsburgh I encourage you to sign up, but that didn't feel like enough so I kept looking. Let me tell you about my goats!! I was introduced to Allegheny Goatscape. They place goats in parks in the city to clear out invasive species. Once a week I go check on Team Hobo, give them water, check their fence, and scratch their cute little heads. They bring me joy and the city hasn't used pesticides in 5 years due to their diligent work. 

11. Write and design a children book - have not yet accomplished. I have an idea for a children's book series, but can't illustrate worth crap. If you can and want to team up, let's do it. 

12. Submit an article to a magazine - ACCOMPLISHED - I'm not going to lie, this one fell into my lap. A theater publication reached out to our theater and I teamed up with a couple coworkers to write an article and they published it, so that's cool. 

13. Read 30 books - ACCOMPLISHED - Blew past this baby. Since writing this list I think I've read like 45.

14. Learn to create my own fonts - I technically learned how it's done, but haven't done it yet. Opps. 

15. Have a drink in 30 states - I think I'm up to 23. If you live in a state I haven't been to and want a house guest for a couple days let me know. I supply the wine. 

16. Go back to Germany - Go to hell COVID! I was supposed to go this summer, but COVID. 

17. Girls Weekend - Covid stole this too :( 

18. Read the New Testament - working on it

19. Learn to Knit - ACCOMPLISHED-ISH - Technically I learned how to use a knitting loom. Does it count? Most people would probably say yes, but I know my mother says no, so it's a no. 

20. Take a flight alone - ACCOMPLISHED - Did I make it to my final destination? Nope, sure didn't, but it still counts! 

21. Learn to change my own oil - I'm told this is easy, but I straight up have just been too lazy for this. 

22. Go to a concert - ACCOMPLISHED - Actually I've been to many. My dad and I discovered a love for country concerts so deep that we bought mega-tickets for this year, then COVID. 

23. Take a cocktail making class - ACCOMPLISHED - Also turns out it wasn't that hard. I'd still prefer if Jenna makes my cocktails

24. Learn to apply makeup- ACCOMPLISHED - Thanks to a lovely man at ulta and some youtube tutorial videos. I celebrated this accomplishment by not wearing make up anymore. 

25. Send 5 letters to people who have made an impact on me - ACCOMPLISHED - this was so hard. A. there's a million people I could have sent letters to but also B. when I went to write them it was really hard to put into a card why they had an impact on my life. 

26. Learn to play piano - What is accomplished? I bought a keyboard, I suck less than I did previously but I'm not great haha. I play well enough that my niece knows what Disney song I'm playing. 

27. Try surfing - haven't done this yet but still really want to

28. Give blood - I've now done this many times, but more than that I was removed from the list of people who can't donate bone marrow so I sent in a kit to Be The Match to be put on the list of bone marrow donors. It's so easy to sign up and you could save someone's life so I encourage you to do so. 

29. Help a friend complete something on their list - ACCOMPLISHED

30. Throw a 30th birthday party - hold tight for 365 days from now.