The best way to learn is to mess it up immeasurably...

The title of this blog is actually a quote from a dear friend. Nate and I have the habit of finding each other as life is in the process of kicking us down. We've gotten pretty good at talking the other up when the freelance artist life seems to be more stressful then it's worth. I don't remember the particulars of the situation surrounding this quote as it was a few years ago and Nate has said so many wise things over the years, it's hard to keep track, but the jist was me telling him that I didn't know what to do because I had just messed everything up and his respond was "yeah, but I bet you won't do that again." He's probably right. I'm sure I've made a million mistakes since then, but not the same one. We call that learning.

Nate and I about to join in the dancing at our friends, Ben and Jill's, wedding. 

Our culture has a weird measure of success. We tend to define success as reaching the top level of whatever we're working on, kill ourselves to get there, and then after the afterglow has worn off, we see ourselves as failing because we can't stay on top of a mountain forever, sometimes we don't even make it to the top at all. Success doesn't have to look like that. Success is a little more subtle than that. Maybe success for you is running 1/2 mile longer, not eating the entire box of cookies (I haven't been successful here yet), smoking one less cigarette, or maybe your success is just getting out of bed and facing the world today. That's okay. Rejoice in success, however small, because that's what keeps up moving forward. 

My friend Carolyn and I after successfully completing our first 5K last summer.

Tax season scares the crap out of me. Just this past year, I've worked for over 15 companies in 4 states. It's that time of year where I play a game I like to call "Collect the W2s and pray there's not too many 1099s." (Note the section above about how being a freelance artist is stressful). Constantly looking to the next project is not only draining, but can sometimes give the feeling of constant failure. Ending one project and immediately beginning the next, sometimes without even getting to enjoy the cast party in between, means that I often forget to step back and notice the amazing things. I live in a beautiful city with a plethora of opportunities. I'm in grad school at a really good school and while that often adds to my stress, it's also an amazing opportunity. People paid me to do theater this year. People paid me to dance this year. That's amazing. Someone said, "I value your artistic contributions, here's a paycheck." And it has been hard. This last week life tried really hard to kick me down and rub salt in the wounds, but at the worst of times, God gave me the opportunity to se the beauty, love, and compassion of other people. My car gets towed, a friend gives me a ride to work. I get followed home- not only did one friend run to me, but another taught me self defense for free. I've always had a hard time asking others for help, but God has provided me people that don't wait for me to ask, they just do and allowing myself to appreciate that as a gift is itself a success. 

Questions to ask yourself:

1. What did I do successfully today?

2. What did I do better today than yesterday?

3. What do I not want to do tomorrow?

4. Who are the people that helped me succeed today?